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Hamlin's favorite FMLs
Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML
by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Death By Parent / 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
by boob sisters / 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
by wish his dad had worn one / 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by creepyyy / 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML
by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by back to creepers / 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Geek
by Aggie_De / 12/14/2013 at 7:00am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
by momaaa1342 / 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
by O-|---<=~ / 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by anonymous / 08/19/2013 at 1:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by bestiality, not even once / 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…