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Gwam78's favorite FMLs
Today, my ex, for whom I still have feelings, introduced me to his new girlfriend. To make things "less awkward," he invited a mutual friend of ours. However, the last time I'd seen this friend, it was a week after my ex and I had broke up, and we hooked up. Awkward doesn't cover it. FML
by neverleavingthehouseagain / 12/08/2015 at 6:08pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by Halcyon_Sancta / 01/19/2015 at 8:05am / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML
by skanula414 / 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Kids
by BadLuckLad / 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (Portsmouth) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, after a solid month of hard work, I finally finished modeling and animating a 3D insect character for a scene. After presenting it to the rest of my team, one of my teammates pointed out that it looks exactly like a flying penis. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2014 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML
by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by BagelTheOtaku / 08/20/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Georgia) / Health
by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by failed dad / 06/25/2014 at 8:30am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids
by Chilly / 03/03/2014 at 2:13am / United States (Alaska) / Love
Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love
- Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome… Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought… Today, I went on a third date with this guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five.…