Grootensliven

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Offline (the 03/12/2015 at 5:10pm)

Grootensliven

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2789
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Grootensliven : I like monsters Lamborghini hockey and mountain biking.

Grootensliven's page activity

Visits<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 11:05am<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:53pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:36am<b>oops6663</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:01pm<b>imdone2008</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:01am<b>iTzCole03</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:44am<b>marulicko</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:15am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 3:20am<b>JVVortex</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 12:18am<b>Etched</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:11pm<b>TheMarshmellow</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:57pm<b>itsjohannna</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 11:52pm<b>mareegiraffe19</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 10:50pm<b>Justified12</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:35pm<b>junkman6</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:33pm<b>SaintJupiter</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 2:57am<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 1:30pm<b>stj5249</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 11:55pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:36pm

Grootensliven's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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Grootensliven's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

by seizuregirl17 / 11/19/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

by Lilly / 10/02/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I got fired from my volunteer job. FML

by Volunteer / 09/13/2013 at 6:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

by WasntMe / 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm / United States / Kids

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

by EpicJman2828 / 06/27/2013 at 12:27am / United States / Animals

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

by fuck kids / 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 06/05/2013 at 11:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 7:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

by Bigfatfailure / 03/28/2013 at 6:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy