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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 September 1979 (37 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3068
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About GripItRight : Open Thinker, I'm Positive I'm Positive... , and a quick study.

GripItRight's page activity

Visits<b>missa8604</b> - yesterday at 12:12am<b>Ind</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 5:46am<b>BryantStone</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 1:58pm<b>slappygecko</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 11:51am<b>dancerkatie95</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:15am<b>divinitas</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 8:19am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 3:39pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 5:26am<b>swanheart</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:16pm<b>zappa9</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:18am<b>kiante99</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 5:19pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 1:03pm<b>ullsmith</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 12:23pm<b>MrsKilown</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:35pm<b>sarkaar</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:00am<b>flufee2</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 8:59pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:51pm<b>xnikkilynn</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:49pm

Fucked!<b>missa8604</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 2:36am

GripItRight's FML badges

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GripItRight's favorite FMLs

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

by Lockedinroom / 02/05/2013 at 11:18am / United States / Intimacy

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

by facepalm / 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

by Master Debater / 02/01/2013 at 6:05am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

by HistoryFreak / 02/01/2013 at 4:19am / France / Geek

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

by dr mamour / 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm / Love

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

by Denki / 01/30/2013 at 7:21am / China (Beijing) / Love

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

by anonymous / 01/30/2013 at 5:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless because of this, god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Love

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

by go snope yourself / 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

by FUCK THE PIGS / 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

by anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 3:42am / United States (Alaska) / Kids

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

by protoplasm stole my seat / 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous