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Grand_Cookie

Offline (the 04/30/2015 at 8:09am) | Search for a member

Grand_Cookie

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16721
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.

Redheads>Jesus

Grand_Cookie's page activity

Visits<b>Epickiller</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:45am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:07pm<b>rmb1200</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 9:34pm<b>kiante99</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 9:55am<b>WoodenBoy</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:27am<b>IJG2000</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:23am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:46pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:13am<b>aruden</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 1:13am<b>nwaugh72</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:27pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 11:35am<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 11:43pm<b>Cynoblaze</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:39pm<b>WhatTheHeckman8</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:35pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 9:10pm<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:10am<b>bigmike3000</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:52am<b>JohnTheMermaid</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:33am

Fucked!<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:10am

Grand_Cookie's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110021) - you deserved it (7732)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML

#15193214
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10636) - you deserved it (40386)

On 03/04/2011 at 1:07am - work - by st00pid (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents told me that due to my lacking height and weight, I legally have to sit in a booster seat in the car from now on. I'm nineteen. FML

#15188063
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45137) - you deserved it (5080)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I noticed my new neighbor had taken the liberty of putting up signs all around their lawn overnight. There are at least a dozen signs detailing the various reasons everyone on the planet is condemned to hell. FML

#15186423
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25957) - you deserved it (2742)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39323) - you deserved it (24309)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got rejected by two different guys. One was my ex-boyfriend who said he wanted to keep our friendship, and the other was a guy I went on a date with who faked a European accent the whole time during our date despite him being born and raised in Texas. FML

#15183035
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26312) - you deserved it (6106)

On 03/03/2011 at 2:24am - love - by Apparentlycreepy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

#15178043
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34121) - you deserved it (4027)

On 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by Worstjob (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML

#15176511
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15267) - you deserved it (32025)

On 03/02/2011 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss lectured me on the evils of alcohol and how it was 'prohibited' during the 1980s. I said nothing because he hates being corrected. FML

#15174288
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26159) - you deserved it (3690)

On 03/02/2011 at 10:28am - work - by Squinty6 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

#15174251
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32172) - you deserved it (5734)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

#15172476
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28185) - you deserved it (9261)

On 03/02/2011 at 3:16am - misc - by Noguestlist -

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

#14742735
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33559) - you deserved it (3236)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by bittenbyadonkey (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML

#14742129
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30251) - you deserved it (3710)

On 01/28/2011 at 10:43am - misc - by NotoriousSRJ (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

#14741730
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38027) - you deserved it (8319)

On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47522) - you deserved it (5630)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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