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Grand_Cookie

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Grand_Cookie
  • Town/Country : Nebraska
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7017
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.

Redheads>Jesus

Grand_Cookie's last visitors

Candissimoadog2643Closuuregrogers311blakelastovicaCarolyn2000flbetterboutlife

Grand_Cookie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Grand_Cookie's badges

Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff legs, when an elderly spectator taunted, "Oohhh yeah, that's it! Massage those legs good, boy!" She looked about 70. FML

#15919634
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25653) - you deserved it (4259)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

#15917525
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36857) - you deserved it (3773)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28053) - you deserved it (3229)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28571) - you deserved it (10820)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

#15911784
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21874) - you deserved it (3591)

On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31406) - you deserved it (9292)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

#15901266
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9047) - you deserved it (37346)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm - animals - by bobo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

#15900752
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9910) - you deserved it (28479)

On 04/23/2011 at 7:56pm - misc - by Niquesha (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29467) - you deserved it (21701)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41002) - you deserved it (6672)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28178) - you deserved it (3958)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

#15891295
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31216) - you deserved it (3056) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by n77 - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

#15867292
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27220) - you deserved it (11233)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:24pm - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17530) - you deserved it (40988)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
782 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61246) - you deserved it (12511)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)



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