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Grand_Cookie

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Grand_Cookie
  • Town/Country : Nebraska
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7088
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.

Redheads>Jesus

Grand_Cookie's last visitors

Candissimoadog2643Closuuregrogers311blakelastovicaCarolyn2000flbetterboutlife

Grand_Cookie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Grand_Cookie's badges

Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

#15958012
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17140) - you deserved it (24241)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:04am - work - by tryandtryagain (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

#15949821
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35352) - you deserved it (4666)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was watching a movie online. There was a 15 minute ad. 13 minutes into watching an ad about birth control, I noticed that there was a "skip this ad" button in the corner. FML

#15949369
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11293) - you deserved it (45556)

On 04/27/2011 at 2:33pm - misc - by popcorn - United States (California)

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

#15947256
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25551) - you deserved it (15935)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:05am - animals - by scarred4life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I love her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML

#15945693
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26469) - you deserved it (3904)

On 04/27/2011 at 4:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife bought $80 worth of Glee songs on iTunes. FML

#15940298
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44874) - you deserved it (7757)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:20pm - money - by Chad - United States

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37510) - you deserved it (11792)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

#15932623
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18850) - you deserved it (43296)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went on a date with a woman. She brought along her stuffed rabbit, and introduced us. FML

#15932020
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33922) - you deserved it (4125)

On 04/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Israel

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

#15931410
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31574) - you deserved it (7403)

On 04/26/2011 at 5:45am - animals - by weirdome23 (woman) - United States

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25315) - you deserved it (13740)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42896) - you deserved it (4503)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

#15921187
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34041) - you deserved it (18092)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while driving on the highway, I got stuck in a traffic jam. Upon glancing over at the car in the next lane, I saw it was my ex as of a week ago. We sat in barely moving traffic right next to each other for half an hour. FML

#15920591
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31316) - you deserved it (3740)

On 04/25/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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