Grand_Cookie

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Offline (the 09/21/2016 at 8:08am)

Grand_Cookie

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 23378
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.

Redheads>Jesus

Grand_Cookie's page activity

Visits<b>GarfieldDaCat</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 3:57am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 12:18am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 8:05am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 4:37am<b>Mons</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 4:36am<b>CJ77</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 3:16am<b>Lionel2174</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 3:07am<b>Arnvs</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 8:19pm<b>chrisbeaudoin</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 4:34pm<b>simplyme486</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 7:17am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 6:01pm<b>tikatica</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 12:57pm<b>TheSenorPenguino</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 2:26pm<b>jdonofs</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:37pm<b>Draysor</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 5:59am<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 1:53am<b>Gruffplatypus87</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 7:27am<b>Noah98</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 1:41pm

Fucked!<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 12:02am<b>rhiley</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:49am<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:43pm<b>ceciliebossow</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:05am<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 9:02am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 6:20pm<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:10am

Grand_Cookie's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Grand_Cookie's badges

Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

by hornyloser / 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

by ohtheshame / 05/02/2011 at 4:34am / Intimacy

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

by Cassie / 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm / Animals

Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 2:49pm / New Zealand (Southland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

by Username / 05/01/2011 at 4:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML

by Tara / 04/30/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

by Laci / 04/30/2011 at 1:50pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

by Username / 04/30/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Health

Today, I was sword fighting in a play when I accidentally hit the other person in the head. He called me a bitch and stormed off stage, leaving me alone with an audience of 50. FML

by me / 04/30/2011 at 12:25am / United States / Health

Today, while my teacher was helping me with a problem, the gum he was chewing fell from his mouth and down my shirt. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 3:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

by Cecilly2010 / 04/28/2011 at 11:53am / Animals

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

by spartanson / 04/28/2011 at 6:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

by ummno / 04/28/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

by tryandtryagain / 04/28/2011 at 12:04am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 3:16pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work