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Offline (the 04/30/2015 at 8:09am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18777
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.


Grand_Cookie's page activity

Visits<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - yesterday at 4:09pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 4:43pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 1:36pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 3:22am<b>ceciliebossow</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 6:05pm<b>desd428</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 7:39pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 11:44pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 1:59pm<b>kuppaz16</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 5:22pm<b>Venister</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 1:49am<b>blakeced</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 2:34pm<b>Kurisuten</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 12:53am<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 5:51am<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:15am<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:08am<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 3:02am<b>psychedelicdezzy</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:33pm<b>Red_Brooks</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:05pm

Fucked!<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:43pm<b>ceciliebossow</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:05am<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 9:02am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 6:20pm<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:10am

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44162) - you deserved it (4032)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML


I agree, your life sucks (61399) - you deserved it (5819)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45099) - you deserved it (9353)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46041) - you deserved it (6891)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29010) - you deserved it (41675)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42258) - you deserved it (3122)

On 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm - health - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44632) - you deserved it (3313)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39238) - you deserved it (13178)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38258) - you deserved it (7116)

On 09/21/2013 at 9:10am - misc - by dadyoureacunt (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57611) - you deserved it (5868)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38271) - you deserved it (11524)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:19am - health - by I get the hint -

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28685) - you deserved it (41829)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47882) - you deserved it (3023)

On 08/31/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Redbridge)

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55778) - you deserved it (3397)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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