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Offline (the 04/30/2015 at 8:09am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18409
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.


Grand_Cookie's page activity

Visits<b>kuppaz16</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 5:22pm<b>Venister</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 1:49am<b>blakeced</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 2:34pm<b>Kurisuten</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 12:53am<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 5:51am<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:15am<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:08am<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 3:02am<b>psychedelicdezzy</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:33pm<b>Red_Brooks</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:05pm<b>Pop_And_Lock</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 9:22pm<b>Psychotique</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 9:09pm<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:10am<b>jessenia123</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:35am<b>Camwentz</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 1:48am<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 4:20pm<b>wantmeasandwich</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 10:23am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:06am

Fucked!<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 9:02am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 6:20pm<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:10am

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Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50064) - you deserved it (18220)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML


I agree, your life sucks (59292) - you deserved it (5936)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44253) - you deserved it (8284) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57579) - you deserved it (3682)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37603) - you deserved it (3291)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49505) - you deserved it (5476)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML


Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48121) - you deserved it (5041)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47350) - you deserved it (3605)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60037) - you deserved it (9095)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45031) - you deserved it (6094)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40036) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/15/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43581) - you deserved it (4679)

On 11/14/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by CallmeEddie - United States (Illinois)

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51338) - you deserved it (4203)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by BreakingTheMood (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39348) - you deserved it (11242)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

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