Goth_Hawk

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Offline (15 hours ago)

Goth_Hawk

15Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 January 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1492
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Goth_Hawk : Fml is a site I am fond of, and read daily.

Goth_Hawk's page activity

Visits<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 10:18pm<b>PumaGator</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 8:42pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 3:51am<b>sharkfacehuskies</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 4:21am<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 7:43pm<b>kkt1209</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 11:23pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 8:09pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 3:12am<b>SnakeGriffin</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 8:56pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:13am<b>orbit</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:51am<b>Esoomian</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 11:55am<b>nephilim241</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 4:51am<b>jimmyt443</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:50am<b>daz18m</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 3:39am<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 3:10am<b>Lacalema</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 1:50am<b>m1i2c3h4a5e6l7</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 1:44am

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 4:18am<b>rhiley</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 9:51am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 7:15am<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 3:28am<b>amberblaiz</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 5:05am<b>Dominion42</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 10:05pm<b>kpopforeverr</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 4:14am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 2:46am<b>anna2662</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:34pm<b>d123454321b</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:30pm<b>mr_mac81</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 5:24am<b>blcusername</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 1:45am<b>ccastillo7</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 1:10am<b>Jareth_King</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:51pm

Goth_Hawk's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Goth_Hawk's badges

Goth_Hawk's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally realized the toll working as a cashier 5 days a week during the holidays does to your psyche. I just said "Welcome To Walgreens", out of pure reflex, to my cat as she walked into my kitchen. FML

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend told me she has decided to become a stay-at-home mom for our dog. FML

by connorcaffery / 09/18/2015 at 5:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 50-something coworker followed through on his threat to file a defamation lawsuit against me. All because I jokingly said "pedo" after he bragged to everyone that his girlfriend is a smoking hot 19-year-old. FML

by Anownimous / 09/18/2015 at 3:51pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I woke up to a cat licking my face. I don't have a cat. I quickly put the cat out the front door and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I remembered that I had agreed to take care of my sister's cat for a week. I looked out the door, but the cat is nowhere to be found. FML

by introublenow / 09/18/2015 at 8:22am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I told my nephew to be careful when crossing the street in front of a bus because it might eat him. We then watched as a bus slowed down and stopped in front of a group of people. When the bus moved away, all the people were gone. My nephew is terrified, and won't stop crying. FML

by busmonster / 09/11/2015 at 8:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

by to_complicated_4_u / 05/04/2015 at 12:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

by xoragebaby / 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend when I began dozing off. I was then awoken by an explosive fart. It was me. FML

by Halcyon_Sancta / 01/19/2015 at 8:05am / United States (Nevada) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found myself wondering if my sister's jaw makes the same clicking sound when she's giving head as it does when she's eating food. FML

by Goth_Hawk / 01/13/2015 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

by I'll Make You FartCum / 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

by 30000 / 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2015 at 10:09am / United States / Kids