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Googolman's FML badges
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Googolman's favorite FMLs
Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML
by not on life, that's for fucking sure / 10/25/2014 at 2:27pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by KayyElOh94 / 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm / United States / Kids
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML
by rockytrolley / 10/08/2014 at 5:01am / Cyprus / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 11:47am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML
by hopeless / 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm / Canada / Work
by Ryuun12 / 10/02/2014 at 11:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by youonlyneed2squares / 09/24/2014 at 12:10am / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML
by Iamthatgirl / 08/27/2014 at 12:56am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML
by abusedparrot / 08/24/2014 at 8:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work