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Googolman's FML badges
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Googolman's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2015 at 12:23am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by punkchicka4 / 03/02/2015 at 6:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by kysier / 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 9:16am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML
by Anonymous / 02/20/2015 at 2:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by jackskellington / 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by OnlyAvailableID / 02/08/2015 at 3:35am / Australia / Animals
by 11Karma11 / 02/04/2015 at 6:35pm / United Kingdom / Work
by Sprinkles / 02/04/2015 at 2:44am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by bruhandbutercup / 02/02/2015 at 7:08pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML
by The Soul Of A Damned Queef / 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software… Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left… Today, my apparently insane and now ex-girlfriend actually claimed she didn't technically cheat on…