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Googolman's favorite FMLs
by Szaszaspasz / 08/24/2015 at 6:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 10:06am / United States / Intimacy
by LexiD19 / 07/31/2015 at 6:56pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
Today, I got a surprise raise and a promotion at work. Hours after accepting, our company was raided by police on fraud charges. Due to my new managerial position, I had to get grilled by cops. I may not have a job at all next week. FML
by Anonymous / 07/16/2015 at 10:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML
by ineedaraise / 07/14/2015 at 9:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by whymomwhy / 07/11/2015 at 1:20pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by gurding / 06/21/2015 at 12:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 06/21/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML
by Great / 05/29/2015 at 8:13am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML
by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 9:17pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 1:08pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy
Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML
by oops / 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML
by RavingLunatic / 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML
by guitarki / 04/26/2015 at 2:49pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…