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Googolman's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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Googolman's favorite FMLs
Today, I received three big boxes from my mother in law, containing expensive cookware. I was puzzled, because I know that she hates me. Turns out she mailed them to us by mistake. Not only did she not get us anything, but I now have to pay to ship the boxes to her neighbor. FML
by bahhumbug / 12/21/2015 at 1:25pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally realized the toll working as a cashier 5 days a week during the holidays does to your psyche. I just said "Welcome To Walgreens", out of pure reflex, to my cat as she walked into my kitchen. FML
by Deweyboy / 12/21/2015 at 1:01pm / United States / Work
by SexxiKitty / 12/19/2015 at 5:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Haitwun / 12/14/2015 at 2:29am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/04/2015 at 10:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2015 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
by UglyGirl / 11/08/2015 at 4:34am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was supposed to start my new job. I had forgotten I had a doctor's appointment, so I called work early and told them I wouldn't be able to start until tomorrow. My boss then terminated my employment. I got fired before I even started. FML
by No Job / 09/30/2015 at 9:42pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, after studying for hours a day for the past month, sacrificing weekends and time with my husband, I finally took the exam required for a possible promotion at work. Out of over a hundred questions, I only knew the answer to 3 of them for sure. Boy, am I glad I studied so hard. FML
by gracehi / 09/10/2015 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML
by Alan / 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm / Germany / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I served a customer who looked so much like my grandma that I thought it actually was her. Then I remembered she died 6 months ago. I had to serve customers with a smile on my face while choking back tears for the rest of the day. FML
by myanmarkaviar / 08/27/2015 at 12:34pm / Norway (Buskerud) / Work
by Szaszaspasz / 08/24/2015 at 6:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 10:06am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…