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Googolman's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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Googolman's favorite FMLs
Today, I received three big boxes from my mother in law, containing expensive cookware. I was puzzled, because I know that she hates me. Turns out she mailed them to us by mistake. Not only did she not get us anything, but I now have to pay to ship the boxes to her neighbor. FML
by bahhumbug / 12/21/2015 at 1:25pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally realized the toll working as a cashier 5 days a week during the holidays does to your psyche. I just said "Welcome To Walgreens", out of pure reflex, to my cat as she walked into my kitchen. FML
by Deweyboy / 12/21/2015 at 1:01pm / United States / Work
by SexxiKitty / 12/19/2015 at 5:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Haitwun / 12/14/2015 at 2:29am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/04/2015 at 10:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2015 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
by UglyGirl / 11/08/2015 at 4:34am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was supposed to start my new job. I had forgotten I had a doctor's appointment, so I called work early and told them I wouldn't be able to start until tomorrow. My boss then terminated my employment. I got fired before I even started. FML
by No Job / 09/30/2015 at 9:42pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, after studying for hours a day for the past month, sacrificing weekends and time with my husband, I finally took the exam required for a possible promotion at work. Out of over a hundred questions, I only knew the answer to 3 of them for sure. Boy, am I glad I studied so hard. FML
by gracehi / 09/10/2015 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML
by Alan / 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm / Germany / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I served a customer who looked so much like my grandma that I thought it actually was her. Then I remembered she died 6 months ago. I had to serve customers with a smile on my face while choking back tears for the rest of the day. FML
by myanmarkaviar / 08/27/2015 at 12:34pm / Norway (Buskerud) / Work
by Szaszaspasz / 08/24/2015 at 6:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 10:06am / United States / Intimacy
by LexiD19 / 07/31/2015 at 6:56pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…