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Golpon

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Golpon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 199
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Golpon's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Golpon's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while at the supermarket. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed and "f you" was written on my windshield. FML

#20700486
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44898) - you deserved it (13939)

On 06/02/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

#20699851
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43325) - you deserved it (2859)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

#20698818
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74029) - you deserved it (4123)

On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

#20694663
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38757) - you deserved it (3386)

On 05/30/2013 at 1:37am - love - by I'm a joke? -

Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML

#20693212
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45838) - you deserved it (2871)

On 05/29/2013 at 2:29pm - misc - by WTFruits - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML

#20693039
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46115) - you deserved it (3793)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm - misc - by no boobies - United States

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

#20693016
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21620) - you deserved it (45654)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61562) - you deserved it (13914)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working at Walmart, I was walking the sales floor and passed the end of an aisle. I saw a customer coming at me from the corner of my eye, so I jumped backwards. I hit a display case, and watched it topple over before turning to apologize to the customer. It was a ladder. FML

#20690744
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32239) - you deserved it (8073)

On 05/28/2013 at 3:11am - work - by Olerbia - United States

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51185) - you deserved it (6027)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

#20690062
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40700) - you deserved it (13067)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49202) - you deserved it (22850)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was taking a bus ride home, listening to some music. The music stopped and I assumed my iPod's battery had run out. Turns out someone managed to steal it, leaving my earphones in. I didn't feel a thing. FML

#20688903
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45984) - you deserved it (9859)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:16am - misc - by stupid (woman) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54472) - you deserved it (3712)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

#20687700
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40972) - you deserved it (16224)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by bestiality? do I look like a pig? (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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