Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Goldenchest

Search for a member

Goldenchest
  • Town/Country : Florence, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 8258
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Goldenchest : Not many people appreciate bowties and fezzes as much as I do.

Goldenchest's last visitors

DawnofDarkiOceanusRallred32TheGingerLadycherrio27ChelzTheWolfGirlorigamidragonpiggybitsmisterspockRuler3000mea_iloveskiing

Goldenchest's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Goldenchest's badges

Goldenchest's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML

#7156586
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16441) - you deserved it (6118)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:15am - animals - by bels12 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML

#7122890
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22101) - you deserved it (11999)

On 01/03/2010 at 8:18am - money - by broke_kid - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

#7096414
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4793) - you deserved it (27513)

On 01/02/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Laughluv (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

#7056556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30271) - you deserved it (3019)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by lifesux (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML

#7056009
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23309) - you deserved it (1953)

On 12/31/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by MorganRox26 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the last person I invited to my birthday party called and said they couldn't come because another party "came up" and they "hope I understand". It's on December 31st. This happens every year without fail. FML

#6995867
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21144) - you deserved it (7432)

On 12/28/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by ahh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML

#6872030
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19483) - you deserved it (3114)

On 12/21/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

#6787921
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24360) - you deserved it (3807)

On 12/17/2009 at 1:09am - animals - by life_suxxx - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

#6781373
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38594) - you deserved it (2014)

On 12/16/2009 at 6:55pm - love - by cheezmaster (man) - United States (California)

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

#6779771
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9470) - you deserved it (26960)

On 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm - animals - by smellyhand (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML

#6737603
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31901) - you deserved it (308)

On 12/13/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by justine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to perform with my Orchestra at an event. I hadn't eaten at all because I had to get my blood sugar tested. During the middle of a song I passed out. No one helped me and no one stopped playing "because the song wasn't over and they didn't want to ruin the performance." FML

#6724178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24836) - you deserved it (5312)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going to ask my parents for advice on how to get my ex-girlfriend back. I overheard them talking about how glad they were that their plan to break us up worked so well. I don't think I should ask for advice anymore. FML

#6669217
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25461) - you deserved it (1595)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

#6632044
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8254) - you deserved it (21549)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by Wrongdoor (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML

#6602015
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29578) - you deserved it (12292)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:01pm - misc - by lamed (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: