About Goldenchest : Not many people appreciate bowties and fezzes as much as I do.
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Goldenchest's favorite FMLs
by human torch / 03/18/2010 at 11:22am / United States / Health
Today, finally accepting the fact that the love of my life has moved on, I took myself to a movie, alone, on a Saturday night. After buying the last ticket to a sold out movie and trying to find the only open seat in the dark, I sit down... right next to my ex-best friend AND my ex-fiancé. FML
by hurt / 03/13/2010 at 7:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 7:01am / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
by koletatlow19 / 03/05/2010 at 12:23am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/23/2010 at 10:45am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by amireallyloved / 02/17/2010 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Love
by matiasbarbero / 02/16/2010 at 12:56pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML
by GymnasticsQueen / 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
by youlyingjerk / 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Obsessed / 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my bank account was in the negative because my work gave me a check that didn't clear. I went to my bank to get a statement of charges so my job could reimburse me. They told me requesting a statement costs 8 dollars, which I don't have because my account is in the negative. FML
by weddingbells / 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…