Goldenchest

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Offline (the 01/27/2015 at 5:22pm)

Goldenchest

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 August 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 23242
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Goldenchest : Not many people appreciate bowties and fezzes as much as I do.

Goldenchest's page activity

Visits<b>BlackRosey_</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 10:04am<b>rydersmomma16</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 12:19am<b>CravenCat</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 12:05pm<b>couchcat</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 7:52pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 3:00pm<b>predator76x</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 5:38pm<b>VGaray</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Sizly</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 7:02am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:28pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:45am<b>matuf</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:19pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 2:05am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 3:01pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:09pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 6:30am<b>benjweaver</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:34pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:27am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:08am

Goldenchest's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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Goldenchest's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

by Elrond Hubbard / 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 9:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was chatting with the girl of my dreams, a real heart-to-heart. Everything was going great, and I asked her if she'd like to get coffee together sometime. She immediately backed away and excused herself, mumbling something about not dating left-handed people. Huh? FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2014 at 4:15pm / United States / Love

Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML

by KalaKa / 12/20/2014 at 3:45pm / United States / Love

Today, I finally got time to take a nap. Later, my mom asked me if I was depressed because I didn't leave my room for 3 hours. She talked to my dad about it, and now my family thinks I'm depressed because I slept for 3 hours. FML

by Sleep. / 11/27/2014 at 2:06am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me via Facebook chat. When I asked her why, she replied "You know why." and blocked me. No, I don't know. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2014 at 7:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

by Purple / 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

by Dezzy / 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

by Madridsta / 06/28/2014 at 2:28am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had a date with a man who works as a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during dinner. FML

by mydatinglifesucks / 06/15/2014 at 2:31am / United States / Love

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

by sunil / 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 6:06pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

by green and not with envy / 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals