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Offline (the 11/20/2015 at 6:13pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 January 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5713
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Gixie : I have actually been using FML for well over a year before I decided to create a profile and then another six months before I decided to actually start using it. I'm actually disappointed that I could have been earning badges the whole time. FML.

Gixie's page activity

Visits<b>veilsandsirens</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:15pm<b>MdMan2</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 8:17am<b>ollis</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 1:26pm<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 12:41am<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 10:05pm<b>therealputin</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:54pm<b>black_day</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:52am<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:15am<b>jozhe</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 7:58am<b>swharley</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:17pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 4:18pm<b>_ExcitedPotato_</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 2:19pm<b>lolszilla</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 11:52am<b>eddy1965</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 11:27am<b>hypershart</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 11:26am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 10:56am<b>RMLrapemylife</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 9:59am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 9:59am

Fucked!<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:59pm<b>igg125</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:58pm<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:32pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 9:14pm

Gixie's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.


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Gixie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53375) - you deserved it (8503)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML


I agree, your life sucks (50511) - you deserved it (5157)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42868) - you deserved it (3820)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44352) - you deserved it (4015)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46599) - you deserved it (5509)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46849) - you deserved it (6472)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33875) - you deserved it (6243)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48436) - you deserved it (2900)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48190) - you deserved it (4916)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13981) - you deserved it (54680)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17629) - you deserved it (61788) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35170) - you deserved it (3806)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42564) - you deserved it (11276)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

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Tuesday 24 November 2015

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