Girreth

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Offline (the 09/28/2014 at 1:21am)

Girreth

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1359
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Girreth : Napoleon Borntoparty

It's a joke, not a dick - don't take it so hard

Girreth's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 3:26pm<b>lovecuteness32</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 3:31am<b>zonlach</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:22am<b>zach205</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 5:20pm<b>thesadboy</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:37am<b>derpytroll</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:29am<b>ZeroEnna</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:19pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:14pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 12:54pm<b>Karennnx</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 4:18am<b>McDiabeeto</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 6:47pm<b>Gooberglop</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 4:24pm<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:41pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 4:42am<b>captainD</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:39pm<b>over9000skittles</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 8:52pm<b>ErzaScarlet</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 9:21am<b>nubbles10</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 9:23am

Girreth's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

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Girreth's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

by WTF / 01/16/2013 at 2:52am / Miscellaneous

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

by Devil / 12/11/2012 at 1:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

by hailey / 12/10/2012 at 12:10am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

by bieberslayer / 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm / United States / Geek

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

by Read The Fine Print / 11/24/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

by talker / 11/14/2012 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2010 at 10:29am / United Kingdom (York) / Transportation

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2010 at 7:24am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

by Username / 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm / Love

Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML

by bluebride / 02/03/2010 at 12:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Love