About GetSomeM0 : good vibes & apple pies.
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GetSomeM0's favorite FMLs
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by failingdaily / 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Geek
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML
by TuT / 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm / France / Love
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
by HappilyNeverAfter / 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by furryfriend / 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Kids
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
by HeIsKindaRightTho / 09/16/2014 at 12:31am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by cazzb / 09/16/2014 at 12:17am / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 10:39am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 2:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by no / 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML
by imgonnadie / 09/07/2014 at 11:11am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous