About GetSomeM0 : good vibes & apple pies.
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GetSomeM0's favorite FMLs
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
by mellielynnemily / 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm / United States / Love
by Alexismaria / 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids
Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm / United States (Texas) / Geek
Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Kids
Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML
by youngboob / 10/21/2014 at 11:42am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML
by Anonymos_fmler / 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML
by Bartender / 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by MegasaurusRex89 / 10/17/2014 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by dykerino / 10/11/2014 at 8:11pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
- Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious… Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news:…