About GetSomeM0 : good vibes & apple pies.
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GetSomeM0's favorite FMLs
Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML
by Boss Troubles / 03/17/2015 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Work
by jfields2474 / 03/16/2015 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Geek
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
by thecarisfine / 03/14/2015 at 12:27am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by SteamyPenguin / 03/13/2015 at 11:04am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML
by greatly disturbed / 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
by UncleMonkey / 03/06/2015 at 1:18am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
by actually just constipated.. and stupid / 03/04/2015 at 10:03am / Tunisia / Health
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 9:16am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML
by Y_Y / 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
by sammy18f / 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I responded to an emergency call for an intoxicated 83-year-old man with chest pains. As I leaned forward to check his lung sounds, he groped my chest and said, "Nice rack". I just wanted to see if he had difficulty breathing. I don't even get paid for this, I'm a volunteer for the town. FML
by EMTGirl'sLife / 02/09/2015 at 10:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML
by Help Me / 01/17/2015 at 10:45pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML
by wounded pride, intact cock / 01/17/2015 at 1:49pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/14/2015 at 8:58am / United States (Colorado) / Love