About GetSomeM0 : good vibes & apple pies.
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GetSomeM0's favorite FMLs
Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML
by laurencoc / 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
by Marika / 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2015 at 1:14pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Andrew / 07/14/2015 at 1:59pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by hobbled / 06/17/2015 at 3:18pm / United States / Transportation
Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids
Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML
by its still broken / 06/10/2015 at 8:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Zufallian / 06/02/2015 at 8:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm / Australia / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm / United States / Work
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
by wtf bro / 05/20/2015 at 4:45am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Intimacy
by -_- / 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML
by Nikki / 05/12/2015 at 8:33pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML
by Basically_ / 05/11/2015 at 5:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work