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GeniusInABottle

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GeniusInABottle
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 315
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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GeniusInABottle's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39030) - you deserved it (3397)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34192) - you deserved it (3243)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34658) - you deserved it (5285)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41751) - you deserved it (4339)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

#21098671
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35395) - you deserved it (4248)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36277) - you deserved it (4235)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39546) - you deserved it (5589)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33623) - you deserved it (4747)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -

Today, the feedback my teacher wrote on my English assignment was so horrible that it took me half an hour and help from both my parents to decipher it. It turned out to be a scathing criticism of my "poor communication skills". I hate my teachers. FML

#21096093
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33539) - you deserved it (3086)

On 03/25/2014 at 2:42pm - misc - by fluent in two, unlike you (man) - Mexico

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28767) - you deserved it (15257)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, at a staff meeting, our boss sighed and asked why I'm always in the meetings instead of my co-worker. I reminded him that it's because I'm the department supervisor, not my co-worker. He wouldn't believe me until he saw it for himself in our personnel files. FML

#21084802
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35734) - you deserved it (3073)

On 03/12/2014 at 12:02pm - work - by KBBL (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39041) - you deserved it (7055)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32886) - you deserved it (11385)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, during a lecture, my teacher jokingly talked about the time he was best buds with George Washington. Another student then asked, "Really? You knew him?" I'm in an advanced placement U.S. history class. FML

#21065125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37657) - you deserved it (2962)

On 02/19/2014 at 12:12am - work - by Dsark (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

#21061598
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35988) - you deserved it (3828)

On 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by fuck my goddamn life (man) - United States



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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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