GarageDragon

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Offline (the 01/02/2014 at 5:52pm)

GarageDragon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3606
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About GarageDragon : Atheist and metalhead, originally from South Africa, now living in the UK. I love gaming, watching anime and reading books.

"Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones." - Marcus Aurelius

GarageDragon's page activity

Visits<b>ricardof</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:24pm<b>DragonDude</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 5:04pm<b>smokecloud_</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 3:52pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 7:26pm<b>StedeWeasles</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 3:25am<b>sakura3191</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 6:52pm<b>Sk8SnowCO</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 1:29am<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 12:03am<b>corocoro</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 11:22am<b>FB2G</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 11:02pm<b>liltwistism</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 4:10pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 2:52am<b>Greenmarsh</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 6:15am<b>worldsocold34</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Eewt</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 10:17pm<b>CaptFuzzyNippl_2</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 1:20pm<b>mr_sarcastic416</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 8:20am<b>JerseyItaliann</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 2:47am

GarageDragon's FML badges

YDI master

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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GarageDragon's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

by anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 7:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

by MickyIsEVIL / 04/09/2013 at 7:05am / Japan (Aichi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

by anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend said that while she was playing volleyball, her whole life flashed before her eyes. According to her grandmother, my girlfriend is now psychic. She completely believes it. FML

by CrazyBitch / 04/04/2013 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 9:32am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

by Badam / 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm / France (Aquitaine) / Love

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

by paulinapo / 03/28/2013 at 9:52am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

by um... maybe / 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm / United Kingdom / Kids