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GarJon13

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GarJon13

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 441
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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GarJon13's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of GarJon13's badges

GarJon13's favorite FMLs

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23222) - you deserved it (5962)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML

#21439737
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (7720)

On 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

#21417394
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (5110)

On 05/29/2015 at 12:16am - misc - by idonthavereligion (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33956) - you deserved it (3356)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18798) - you deserved it (55647)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35930) - you deserved it (4972)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46882) - you deserved it (6117)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21721) - you deserved it (52913)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

#21234860
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21564) - you deserved it (48117)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22888) - you deserved it (53108)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41207) - you deserved it (4531)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50938) - you deserved it (17143)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

#21130670
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43160) - you deserved it (6164)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24193) - you deserved it (35089)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria



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