GOLD3NxWARRIOR

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GOLD3NxWARRIOR

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18701
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About GOLD3NxWARRIOR : Life will knock you down, but it's not about whether you get up- it's about the experience that you have learned from it.

GOLD3NxWARRIOR's page activity

Visits<b>islandkid3</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 3:06pm<b>mlc4664</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:34pm<b>tiny1972</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:50pm<b>HighasaCloud</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:28am<b>Lunab123</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 12:10am<b>drayloon</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:21am<b>German_97</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:20pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:37am<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 3:53am<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 8:11am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 8:48pm<b>fistingeggplant</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:05am<b>mmmmKatie</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:53pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 10:49pm<b>OnePLAN</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:52pm<b>camimarvez1</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:53am<b>savygirl367</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 8:43pm<b>rabidunicorn</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 12:51am

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GOLD3NxWARRIOR's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML

by nattnatt73 / 09/10/2016 at 3:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I discovered that in the three days I left my 18-year-old son in charge, my dog had gotten pregnant. When I confronted my son about it, he stated, "I don't want the reputation of being a cock-blocker." FML

by anonymous / 09/04/2016 at 6:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, as I was crossing a street, a car hit me and broke two of my ribs. The driver was too busy paying attention to his girlfriend who was giving him a blowjob from the passenger seat. I could see the look of ecstasy on his face as he rammed into me and drove off without noticing. FML

by Sean / 08/14/2016 at 12:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I reassured a close friend that he could tell me anything. Now all our conversations are almost exclusively about his kinks. Did you know a well-stretched human anus can hold an entire bag of jumbo marshmallows? FML

Today, after the last few months of my sister living with me while she finds her feet, I asked if she could help me out by doing the washing up. Half an hour later, I walked into knee high dish soap foam in the kitchen. My sister was right in the middle, trying to sculpt dicks. She's 20. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2016 at 8:28pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my little cousin if he had a girlfriend if he had a girlfriend. “Yes,“ he said. “Two, but I’m going to keep the one with the biggest boobs.“ He’s 7. FML

by Pseudo / 06/21/2016 at 1:33am / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML

by thatgirl / 06/18/2016 at 5:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I've been begging my boyfriend to get us a dog for months now. This morning, I noticed he'd bought some toilet paper with dogs printed on it. I asked him if it was a sign. He replied, "Yeah, one you can stick up your ass." FML

by Confession / 05/15/2016 at 10:07pm / Belgium / Animals

Today, I want on a date with a man I met on the internet. While talking over drinks, I asked him what he did for a living. He said he was a salesman, and that he's really good at it. Interested, I asked him what it was he sold. "Cannabis." FML

by socksxox / 05/02/2016 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

by myusofwe / 02/05/2016 at 8:33pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend made a patronising post on Facebook, "to all you guys out there" saying how having sex with a drunk person is straight-up, 100% rape. I pointed out that she's had sex with me several times after I've come home drunk. That pissed her off. Now I'm single. FML

by 404: Sanity Not Found / 01/27/2016 at 10:35am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer scared me for the sole purpose of watching my breasts jiggle when I jumped in surprise. I know because his head moved as they did, and he said, "Nice." before walking away. FML

by NotYourToy / 01/27/2016 at 2:59am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML