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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 19000
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About GOLD3NxWARRIOR : Life will knock you down, but it's not about whether you get up- it's about the experience that you have learned from it.

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Visits<b>islandkid3</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 3:06pm<b>mlc4664</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:34pm<b>tiny1972</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:50pm<b>HighasaCloud</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:28am<b>Lunab123</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 12:10am<b>drayloon</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:21am<b>German_97</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:20pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:37am<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 3:53am<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 8:11am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 8:48pm<b>fistingeggplant</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:05am<b>mmmmKatie</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:53pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 10:49pm<b>OnePLAN</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:52pm<b>camimarvez1</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:53am<b>savygirl367</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 8:43pm<b>rabidunicorn</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 12:51am


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GOLD3NxWARRIOR's favorite FMLs

Today, without thinking, I casually advised my mum that the best way to get the piping nozzle clean is to 'fingerfuck' it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2016 at 4:31am / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML

by cheekymonkey97 / 10/24/2016 at 12:48pm / Intimacy

Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML

by ShameMonkey / 09/27/2016 at 6:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML

by nattnatt73 / 09/10/2016 at 3:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I discovered that in the three days I left my 18-year-old son in charge, my dog had gotten pregnant. When I confronted my son about it, he stated, "I don't want the reputation of being a cock-blocker." FML

by anonymous / 09/04/2016 at 6:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, as I was crossing a street, a car hit me and broke two of my ribs. The driver was too busy paying attention to his girlfriend who was giving him a blowjob from the passenger seat. I could see the look of ecstasy on his face as he rammed into me and drove off without noticing. FML

by Sean / 08/14/2016 at 12:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I reassured a close friend that he could tell me anything. Now all our conversations are almost exclusively about his kinks. Did you know a well-stretched human anus can hold an entire bag of jumbo marshmallows? FML

Today, after the last few months of my sister living with me while she finds her feet, I asked if she could help me out by doing the washing up. Half an hour later, I walked into knee high dish soap foam in the kitchen. My sister was right in the middle, trying to sculpt dicks. She's 20. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2016 at 8:28pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my little cousin if he had a girlfriend if he had a girlfriend. “Yes,“ he said. “Two, but I’m going to keep the one with the biggest boobs.“ He’s 7. FML

by Pseudo / 06/21/2016 at 1:33am / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML

by thatgirl / 06/18/2016 at 5:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I've been begging my boyfriend to get us a dog for months now. This morning, I noticed he'd bought some toilet paper with dogs printed on it. I asked him if it was a sign. He replied, "Yeah, one you can stick up your ass." FML

by Confession / 05/15/2016 at 10:07pm / Belgium / Animals

Today, I want on a date with a man I met on the internet. While talking over drinks, I asked him what he did for a living. He said he was a salesman, and that he's really good at it. Interested, I asked him what it was he sold. "Cannabis." FML

by socksxox / 05/02/2016 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

by myusofwe / 02/05/2016 at 8:33pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids