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Furytalon

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Furytalon
  • Town/Country : Woodbridge, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1744
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Furytalon : I play rugby. That's my handy work the first time I went shooting.

Furytalon's last visitors

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Furytalon's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Furytalon's badges

Furytalon's favorite FMLs

Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML

#17389169
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (3841)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

#17343675
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23943) - you deserved it (4563)

On 08/02/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Username - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36936) - you deserved it (10875)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48857) - you deserved it (9568)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML

#17338419
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25158) - you deserved it (7680)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:13am - love - by HaHa Not Funny (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (5638)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

#17129735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30386) - you deserved it (15309)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by McKenna - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

#17123749
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33252) - you deserved it (5448)

On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36773) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

#17093832
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25096) - you deserved it (2216)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by MIB (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML

#17068940
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (17520)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by tony456 (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

#17026293
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25064) - you deserved it (4518)

On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30927) - you deserved it (3405)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

#17000243
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35976) - you deserved it (3228)

On 07/06/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by THOMASisMYname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

#16945838
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9430) - you deserved it (40694)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by camzzz - United States (Washington)



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