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Offline (the 07/16/2015 at 4:56pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 10 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1096
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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FunkMasta's page activity

Visits<b>Sarah_Martin</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:10pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 2:44pm<b>AceEischen</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 8:44pm<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 4:07pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:15pm<b>bananagoat</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:40pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 6:04pm<b>thexguyxnextdoor</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 9:51pm<b>mesutozil11</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 12:45am<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:20am<b>jamers57</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:52pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Miranda_F</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 11:23am<b>alijo1414</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:03pm<b>dextrementor</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 11:12pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 8:47pm

FunkMasta's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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FunkMasta's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

by BannedfromFriend / 05/20/2015 at 7:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

by unlovedandunfucked / 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2014 at 7:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I decided to clean my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

by Shiva / 03/18/2014 at 4:46am / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Animals

Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar to mine; his is along the lines of cuddling. Not only did I wait until marriage to have sex with this man, apparently he prefers a permanent roommate without benefits. FML

by OverIt / 02/25/2014 at 5:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

by dope_mcfly / 01/29/2014 at 11:55am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

by FattestUgliestPerson / 01/18/2014 at 4:45am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Kids

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

by FreeChocolate / 12/09/2013 at 8:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

by dr mamour / 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm / Love