FuckkSam

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Offline (the 09/19/2014 at 9:31pm)

FuckkSam

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 735
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About FuckkSam : What's up?

FuckkSam's page activity

Visits<b>xBeats</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:19pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:51am<b>scott0206</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 8:53pm<b>sharklover2017</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:35am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 4:02pm<b>1lesslonelygurl</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 8:29pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 5:11am<b>Chloe_C_H</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 2:26pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 12:26am<b>Dr0n3</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 7:19pm<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 9:16am<b>Farishta</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:48am<b>jicou</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:34am<b>miiapaige</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:06am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:04am<b>groovy579</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 7:50pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 1:29pm<b>mathen</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 7:00pm

FuckkSam's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of FuckkSam's badges

FuckkSam's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

by GymBattle / 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

by thats what my ipod is for / 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

by jinxofsocal / 06/21/2009 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

by unicorn / 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2009 at 2:39am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals