This member hasn't filled in their description.
FrostedCanuck's FML badges
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
FrostedCanuck's favorite FMLs
by KEA_08 / 03/20/2014 at 1:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML
by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by The Corner Of Death / 08/12/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy
by iLynz / 04/23/2013 at 2:34am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation
Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML
by MilleeMacabre / 04/02/2013 at 2:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Holidays
by holycommander / 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my boyfriend because they don't want people having sex in our apartment during college exams. My boyfriend agreed. FML
by Tooloud / 03/24/2013 at 7:21pm / Canada / Intimacy
by Ihatemyjob / 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
- Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…