FortuneCookie3

Search for a member

FortuneCookie3

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1025
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FortuneCookie3 : mssge me if you want to talk

FortuneCookie3's page activity

Visits<b>PumaGator</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 8:59pm<b>jill97</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:00am<b>unotrea</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 7:01pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 10:21pm<b>waffleeater_153</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 7:40pm<b>katielynn1219</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:09am<b>odod777</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Slackerz4Life</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 7:08pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 11:03am<b>alwaysthinking</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 6:22pm

FortuneCookie3's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

FortuneCookie3's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

by laury / 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

by laury / 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

by A-64 / 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

by A-64 / 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

by wtf is wrong with my country / 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

by wtf is wrong with my country / 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

by 464424 / 05/05/2012 at 2:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

by lexii / 05/05/2012 at 1:01am / United States / Animals

Today, I found out that driving for 2 weeks on 3/4 of a tank doesn't mean my truck magically got more efficient, it means my gas gauge is broken. FML

by Kramer / 02/16/2012 at 7:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

by JukeboxValkyrie / 02/16/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work