Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FortuneCookie3

Search for a member

FortuneCookie3

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 April 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 851
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FortuneCookie3 : mssge me if you want to talk

FortuneCookie3's page activity

Visits<b>unotrea</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 7:01pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 10:21pm<b>waffleeater_153</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 7:40pm<b>katielynn1219</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:09am<b>odod777</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Slackerz4Life</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 7:08pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 11:03am<b>alwaysthinking</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 6:22pm

FortuneCookie3's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

FortuneCookie3's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

#19594950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (3421)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

#19594950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (3421)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

#19594903
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21581) - you deserved it (9170)

On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

#19594903
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21581) - you deserved it (9170)

On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

#19593515
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16445) - you deserved it (39674)

On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

#19593515
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16445) - you deserved it (39674)

On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

#19592995
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28590) - you deserved it (4978)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

#19592995
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28590) - you deserved it (4978)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34307) - you deserved it (3429)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34307) - you deserved it (3429)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

#19575852
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24716) - you deserved it (7886)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

#19575645
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9126) - you deserved it (29007)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States

Today, I found out that driving for 2 weeks on 3/4 of a tank doesn't mean my truck magically got more efficient, it means my gas gauge is broken. FML

#19092080
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12776) - you deserved it (31148)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Kramer - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (50379)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: