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Fortuitous

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Fortuitous
  • Town/Country : The Abyss
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2219
  • Number of comments : 325
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Fortuitous : Be wary of defenestration.

This profile doesn't say much about me, so send me a message about anything. I always reply. My picture is a representation of my ideas about the world.

"Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions."

"Nothing is evil which is in accordance to nature."

"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."

"Anybody can make history. Only a great man can write it."

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

To analyze a quote is to gain the wisdom it supplies. To use a quote is to truly understand its meaning.

Now, this is my interpretation of the FML caste system.

1. FML Gods: the radiance of this site (kind of like those dudes on Mount Olympus)
2. FML Demi-Gods: truly respected commenters that you can never, ever win an argument with
3. FML Geniuses: the hilarious Grammar Nazis that have display their prowess in beautifully destroying idiots

Then, everyone else.

Fortuitous's last visitors

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Fortuitous's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Fortuitous's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

#13640932
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27513) - you deserved it (5104)

On 10/29/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

#13589464
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37764) - you deserved it (3751)

On 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

#13559273
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35169) - you deserved it (8331)

On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28038) - you deserved it (4365)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29874) - you deserved it (2287)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31461) - you deserved it (4351)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35926) - you deserved it (7753)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

#13439536
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21399) - you deserved it (15142)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (19792)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43581) - you deserved it (7927)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

#13401445
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8043) - you deserved it (35197)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I received a 7 page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

#13373250
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24382) - you deserved it (5031)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by mylifesuckssss - United States

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

#13361904
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43369) - you deserved it (4704)

On 10/08/2010 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

#13274666
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24316) - you deserved it (5057)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States



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