Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Fortuitous

Search for a member

Fortuitous

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3245
  • Number of comments : 325
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Fortuitous : Be wary of defenestration.

This profile doesn't say much about me, so send me a message about anything. I always reply. My picture is a representation of my ideas about the world.

"Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions."

"Nothing is evil which is in accordance to nature."

"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."

"Anybody can make history. Only a great man can write it."

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

To analyze a quote is to gain the wisdom it supplies. To use a quote is to truly understand its meaning.

Now, this is my interpretation of the FML caste system.

1. FML Gods: the radiance of this site (kind of like those dudes on Mount Olympus)
2. FML Demi-Gods: truly respected commenters that you can never, ever win an argument with
3. FML Geniuses: the hilarious Grammar Nazis that have display their prowess in beautifully destroying idiots

Then, everyone else.

Fortuitous's page activity

Visits<b>shabadabba</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 7:27pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 8:43pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 12:36am<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 4:32am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 9:15pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:56am<b>ballsacks33</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 5:35pm<b>Kat_Kat23</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 5:02pm<b>madmanw1th4b0x</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 9:36pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 2:17pm<b>agentlilye</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:18pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 8:42pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 7:04pm<b>Nail9797</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:29pm<b>DarkAvalon</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 2:02pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:55pm<b>Doubtful_Judge</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:01pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 1:27am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 7:56am<b>turdoblast</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:04am

Fortuitous's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Fortuitous's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

#13640932
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32904) - you deserved it (5701)

On 10/29/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

#13589464
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45000) - you deserved it (4335)

On 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

#13559273
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41010) - you deserved it (9069)

On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33703) - you deserved it (4876)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39432) - you deserved it (3356)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38997) - you deserved it (5026)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42052) - you deserved it (8525)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

#13439536
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26185) - you deserved it (16997)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39849) - you deserved it (22461)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49757) - you deserved it (8789)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

#13401445
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9908) - you deserved it (40577)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I received a 7 page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

#13373250
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30262) - you deserved it (5720)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by mylifesuckssss - United States

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

#13361904
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49823) - you deserved it (5292)

On 10/08/2010 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

#13274666
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30715) - you deserved it (5825)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: