About ForeverJade : I don't know what to put here, so just message me :D
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ForeverJade's favorite FMLs
by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by infortunatename / 08/01/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
by fredfredburger / 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML
by FMyBrain / 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Health
Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML
by confusing / 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm / Zimbabwe / Work
Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML
by shart up, your puns suck / 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML
by groundedasfuck / 05/24/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by SE011194 / 05/24/2014 at 2:14am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm / United States (California) / Love
by creepyyy / 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk… Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new… Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the…