Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FlyingCows6464

Offline (the 05/19/2015 at 12:08pm) | Search for a member

FlyingCows6464

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 317
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

FlyingCows6464's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of FlyingCows6464's badges

FlyingCows6464's favorite FMLs

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30315) - you deserved it (2241)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

#21344628
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25460) - you deserved it (2698)

On 01/26/2015 at 5:19pm - misc - by Yellow an (man) - United States

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34195) - you deserved it (5021)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33672) - you deserved it (3490)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, I got friendzoned by three different women. Each girl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. FML

#21309350
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32089) - you deserved it (9170)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:37am - love - by foreveralone (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed already, but his music was pretty good, so I gave him some spare change. As soon as I turned away, he started screaming at me for being "cheap", and chased me half a block before running out of breath. FML

#21127357
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39226) - you deserved it (4009)

On 04/30/2014 at 6:25pm - money - by Anonymous Pillock (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49162) - you deserved it (9140)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64678) - you deserved it (7602)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47572) - you deserved it (4419)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59175) - you deserved it (9578)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61457) - you deserved it (4261)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61483) - you deserved it (4168)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65458) - you deserved it (5319)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47119) - you deserved it (8640)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: