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FlashBurn

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FlashBurn
  • Town/Country : Tyler, TX, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 September 1985 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 1677
  • Number of comments : 316
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About FlashBurn : I'm me, there really can't be much more said about me because trying to define me is simply an exercise in futility.

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FlashBurn's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Socialite

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FlashBurn's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother sold my extensive Star Wars collection, and I cried when I found out. I'm 46. FML

#18524241
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24719) - you deserved it (22707)

On 12/15/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by Oja1 - United States (Montana)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46330) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (4596)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML

#17861962
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35035) - you deserved it (4236)

On 09/29/2011 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML

#17796010
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31059) - you deserved it (3892)

On 09/21/2011 at 2:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43488) - you deserved it (7940)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

#17756781
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22561) - you deserved it (4203)

On 09/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by QuickieGirl - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

#17738914
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27914) - you deserved it (3697)

On 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27780) - you deserved it (3793)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30972) - you deserved it (3002)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got cock-blocked by the laundry. My boyfriend was the one who wanted to do laundry. FML

#16972353
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21143) - you deserved it (3142)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59483) - you deserved it (6228)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML

#7459742
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20205) - you deserved it (7473)

On 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm - health - by M_Kclift1994 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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