Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FlapDragon

Search for a member

FlapDragon
  • Town/Country : Chicago, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 November 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 892
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

FlapDragon's last visitors

redwill85ZY1431mpkpmMinedibuzzmarkal2231yginezAMN1DboredSOLDIER

FlapDragon's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of FlapDragon's badges

FlapDragon's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39060) - you deserved it (5642)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

#21104664
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34511) - you deserved it (3824)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by King_of_hearts (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

#21092916
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38991) - you deserved it (7021)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:42pm - misc - by BMTH2296 (man) - United States

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39274) - you deserved it (3233)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39041) - you deserved it (7054)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

#21077048
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55040) - you deserved it (6854)

On 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm - intimacy - by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends convinced me to go out clubbing with them for the first time. "You'll get some action", they said. The only action I got was some drunk bloke staggering into me and spraying me with vomit just minutes after arriving. FML

#21074902
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35306) - you deserved it (3247)

On 03/01/2014 at 12:23pm - misc - by thanks, cunt-o (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40543) - you deserved it (13891)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52837) - you deserved it (4594)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my car broke down on the highway, and I had to call for a tow truck. It finally showed up, only to break down too less than a mile later. Cue nearly freezing to death while we waited for help to arrive for the both of us. FML

#21006306
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31700) - you deserved it (2105)

On 12/26/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by MERRY FUCKMYARSEMASS (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45361) - you deserved it (6885)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28832) - you deserved it (13483)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40217) - you deserved it (4980)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39513) - you deserved it (11468)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: