About Firewielder : Well, hello everyone and welcome to my profile! Hope you have fun here! Don't go into the basement.
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Firewielder's favorite FMLs
by jackskellington / 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by Firewielder / 02/10/2015 at 9:26pm / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML
by Lisa / 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by WickedLittleDoll / 12/01/2014 at 11:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML
by aineroo / 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm / Ireland (Galway) / Miscellaneous
by wow / 11/02/2014 at 10:23am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by anonymous / 11/02/2014 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Kids
by lexigan4 / 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML
by HeckIfIKnow / 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Geek
by ColdStones / 10/20/2014 at 4:50am / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
by Bad Dad / 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by team hit bella with a car / 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML
by Deadpool434 / 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over… Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test… Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting…