Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Fiori4

Offline (the 02/05/2015 at 7:56pm) | Search for a member

Fiori4

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2053
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Fiori4 : Want to know? Ask.

Fiori4's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 6:57pm<b>binger_gitch</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 11:52pm<b>swick25</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:44pm<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 3:50pm<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 7:20am<b>jsteele64</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 3:39am<b>USMC_Guy0313</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:36am<b>atalanta18</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 9:10pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 6:02am<b>SininenAave</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 11:51pm<b>kykyrose</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 10:30pm<b>grizzlybear26</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 5:05pm<b>scottmn2740</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 9:43am<b>shellykjelly</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 12:02pm<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 8:15am<b>BrianMcF</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 10:44pm<b>tompou6</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:41pm<b>Thiaskia</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 11:24pm

Fiori4's FML badges

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Fiori4's badges

Fiori4's favorite FMLs

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

#20875531
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39839) - you deserved it (5833)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:36am - animals - by Evil_Angel_90 (woman) - Australia

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40915) - you deserved it (6703)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52254) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

#20837089
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55396) - you deserved it (5043)

On 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by NewBride (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66343) - you deserved it (8438)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56365) - you deserved it (6388)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22854) - you deserved it (44227)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53686) - you deserved it (8527)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61567) - you deserved it (8022)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41831) - you deserved it (9038)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47978) - you deserved it (13532)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44891) - you deserved it (8866)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60113) - you deserved it (3933)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42390) - you deserved it (4711)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: