Filitov

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Filitov

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2668
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Filitov : Now that I'm starting to comment more frequently, I'll update this at some point to be a little more enlightening. That is... as soon as I stop procrastinating to do so. So I'll probably get that taken care of before 2015 or so.

Rawr.

I come to FML to get a laugh. Sometimes from the stories, sometimes from the comments. I periodically comment on them myself. Sometimes I reply trying to be insightful, and sometimes I'm just a smart-ass. If you can't distinguish between the two: your loss.

If you type like an ADHD child on meth, you can and will be ignored.

Message me if you'd like. I don't bite... hard.

Filitov's page activity

Visits<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 6:21pm<b>panther321</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 4:07am<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 1:56am<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 5:41pm<b>Snoss</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 3:41am<b>Westifer</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 1:15am<b>eski2015</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 11:52pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 1:59pm<b>iamdorkette</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:59pm<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:31am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 2:59am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 1:03pm<b>youdumbstick</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 9:07am<b>Dizzyturtl3</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:33pm<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 8:06pm<b>ShadowChaos</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 10:49pm<b>pish</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:57pm<b>mcronin</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:19pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:20am

Filitov's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Filitov's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

by ohsnap / 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

by ohsnap / 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next to it. I flipped off the audience. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Health

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Animals

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

by Embarrassed / 10/01/2010 at 9:06am / United States / Health

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

by huj / 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

by Andrew / 09/24/2010 at 6:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2010 at 10:02pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids

Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML

by Chels / 12/04/2009 at 1:27am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML

by sucksforme / 09/11/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

by Rory / 07/23/2009 at 12:26am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

by Stacy / 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy