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FatMan23's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Sarah / 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML
by Catherine / 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Money
by miss tomato / 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm / United States / Health
by ironyisabitch / 06/02/2012 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Love
by Eric Ngan / 05/12/2012 at 12:01pm / Singapore / Animals
Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
by muddled / 05/02/2012 at 2:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Hungrytoothbrush / 03/07/2012 at 5:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
- Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was… Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they… Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway.…