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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 September 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7316
  • Number of comments : 2758
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About False_Stupidity : Nothing to see here... Move along

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I told you there was nothing here, but you just had to look!

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False_Stupidity's favorite FMLs

Yesterday, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find wat I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was lyk a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25607) - you deserved it (3090)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks lyk I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. fat FML


I agree, your life sucks (11) - you deserved it (4840)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia

yesterday I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out . FML


I agree, your life sucks (30113) - you deserved it (4100)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Yesterday, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two yeres ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. mega FML


I agree, your life sucks (45842) - you deserved it (2107)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got to experience the horror of mah wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles coverd in mayonnaise, and later droppd to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35491) - you deserved it (4289)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fartedhile I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner . They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there looool was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars . FML


I agree, your life sucks (30848) - you deserved it (6298)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting everything ready fir mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new looool bd sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45963) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today,hila mah taachar was damonstrating how to usa tha ultrasound aquipmant, wa all figurad out that I'm pragnant. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52709) - you deserved it (10544)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up loudly screaming from a "night" terror. I say "night"; I was actually at mah desk at work, in the middle of the day, surrounded by dozens of co-workers in there cubicles. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35465) - you deserved it (9940)

On 06/30/2014 at 3:51pm - work - by Whoopsie (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle!! The last piece didn't fit!! FML


I agree, your life sucks (43257) - you deserved it (6162)

On 06/28/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Puzzlepiece - Australia (New South Wales)

Yesterday, I got it by a car wile walking into te ospital to visit ma wife, wo ad also gotten it by a car. real FML


I agree, your life sucks (57084) - you deserved it (4384)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today , some alarm , somewere in ma ouse , is making a low battery noise. I've cecked every smoke detector multiple times , an I can't find it. It as been ours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if te sound as just invaded ma brain. fat FML

Today I took out mah phone and realized I butt dialed mah girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. real FML


I agree, your life sucks (45146) - you deserved it (8474)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then hered loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38874) - you deserved it (20801)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

today I fartd so loudly I not only woke myself up, but ma usband as well. He mistook ma gas for someone trying to break in and insistd on cecking teole ouse. I was too embarrassd to tell im te trut. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42209) - you deserved it (8575)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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