About Falassalond : Hi! I've been on FML for a long time. I read comments a lot. The best part of FML is the comments. Most of you have probably made me laugh. So thanks. Have a nice day!
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Falassalond's favorite FMLs
Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML
by mdsfkljsfsdrewr / 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous
by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/22/2014 at 5:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm / United States / Love
by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
by Numbass123 / 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm / United States (Nevada) / Health
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
by caught out / 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 1:57am / Canada / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm / Norway (Nordland) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by and not even in the good way / 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm / United States / Kids
Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML
by polebitch49 / 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, after working 6 days a week, making well over overtime and happy for a well rested day off,… Today, my supervisor at work took me into the back room, saying "several other cashiers complained… Today, a customer bitched at me in front of her children for 10 minutes because I wouldn't open the…