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Falassalond

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Falassalond
  • Town/Country : NY, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 October 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1646
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Falassalond : Hi! I've been on FML for a long time. I read comments a lot. The best part of FML is the comments. Most of you have probably made me laugh. So thanks. Have a nice day!

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Falassalond's favorite FMLs

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

#21003528
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (9478)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

#21002747
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20080) - you deserved it (41790)

On 12/23/2013 at 6:11pm - work - by dr immature (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

#21002133
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41121) - you deserved it (3022)

On 12/23/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by GogglesGoggles - United States

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40583) - you deserved it (2075)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

#20988758
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39744) - you deserved it (6307)

On 12/11/2013 at 8:14am - misc - by pootie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51183) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my car wouldn't start because of the cold weather. Since I was at a friend's house, I asked him to jump-start it. After taking about ten minutes to start his vehicle and park it by mine, we found that both of our car hoods were frozen shut. FML

#20984021
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38034) - you deserved it (3368)

On 12/07/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39222) - you deserved it (39478)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28835) - you deserved it (13483)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41715) - you deserved it (2775)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43545) - you deserved it (4600)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25768) - you deserved it (37133)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45388) - you deserved it (4196)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30220) - you deserved it (5679)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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