About Falassalond : Hi! I've been on FML for a long time. I read comments a lot. The best part of FML is the comments. Most of you have probably made me laugh. So thanks. Have a nice day!
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Falassalond's favorite FMLs
Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML
by aineroo / 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm / Ireland (Galway) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML
by thewrittenrebel / 10/28/2014 at 3:40am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm / United States (Oregon) / Geek
by MegasaurusRex89 / 10/17/2014 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML
by theseguysarewhipped... / 10/06/2014 at 11:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 11:47am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML
by hopeless / 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm / Canada / Work
Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML
by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals
by anon / 09/25/2014 at 1:48am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by camerashyguy / 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals
Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML
by oops... / 09/12/2014 at 1:50am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by ihatejasonderulo / 09/02/2014 at 11:32am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Intimacy
by s0728 / 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by the3goatlady / 09/01/2014 at 12:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…