About FalaFala : Tits. That is all.
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FalaFala's favorite FMLs
by nutfreak / 08/12/2013 at 11:24am / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML
by ugh / 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Intimacy
Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML
by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy
by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Love
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
by orgasmicriding / 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy
Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
by Anonymous / 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by jsmills92 / 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML
by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
by fatbabysyndrome / 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by pyroman1127 / 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between… Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news… Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about…