FailBear920

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FailBear920

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12727
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FailBear920 : TYBG! I'm Based and I Love Lil B

FailBear920's page activity

Visits<b>TheGoatTamer</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:57am<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 8:29pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 2:44am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 12:31am<b>Balphleair</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 10:51am<b>luther48</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:41am<b>salii321</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 3:23am<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 8:05pm<b>snipebp</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:55am<b>Razor011</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:42pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 6:49am<b>SegaTortoise</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 7:01pm<b>dno79</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:59am<b>jacksontb</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 7:50am<b>xXCODGODXx</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:28pm<b>kkelly22</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 4:52am<b>max__333</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:39pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:00am

Fucked!<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 1:05am<b>max__333</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:39am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:30pm

FailBear920's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of FailBear920's badges

FailBear920's favorite FMLs

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

by fuckparents / 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

by mortifiedgrandchild / 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

by Cookie / 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm / South Africa / Miscellaneous

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML

by drummahboi99 / 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

by preggers / 11/30/2011 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket. The scrawny, acne-ridden kid at the checkout asked to see my ID. I didn't have any on me, since I'm 37 years old and didn't expect to be asked stupid questions. I complained to his manager, only to be asked to leave. FML

by Andrew / 11/24/2011 at 3:19pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML

by jdancerchick / 11/16/2011 at 8:47am / United States / Transportation

Today, "Community" was pulled from its mid-season lineup, with plans to hopefully put it back on the schedule at some unknown time. It will probably be canceled. Meanwhile, "Whitney" is still on the air and doing fine. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2011 at 5:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 11:52am / United States / Kids

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy