FailBear920

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FailBear920

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12933
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FailBear920 : TYBG! I'm Based and I Love Lil B

FailBear920's page activity

Visits<b>TheGoatTamer</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:57am<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 8:29pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 2:44am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 12:31am<b>Balphleair</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 10:51am<b>luther48</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:41am<b>salii321</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 3:23am<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 8:05pm<b>snipebp</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:55am<b>Razor011</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:42pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 6:49am<b>SegaTortoise</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 7:01pm<b>dno79</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:59am<b>jacksontb</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 7:50am<b>xXCODGODXx</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:28pm<b>kkelly22</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 4:52am<b>max__333</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:39pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:00am

Fucked!<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 1:05am<b>max__333</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:39am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:30pm

FailBear920's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of FailBear920's badges

FailBear920's favorite FMLs

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

by Gangnam / 11/16/2012 at 10:52am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

by Sexting Parents / 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

by WentInABush / 11/15/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm / Canada / Money

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

by NotAnExcuse / 11/07/2012 at 12:58am / United States / Transportation

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

by new name / 11/06/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

by WeddingWoes / 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

by poorkids / 10/31/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm / Germany (Bayern) / Kids