FacePALM24

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FacePALM24

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 August 1980 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22878
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

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FacePALM24's page activity

Visits<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 4:43pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:11pm<b>blakelastovica</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 5:57pm<b>nubbles10</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 3:15pm<b>usaidwhat82</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 7:59am<b>3051628</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 6:37pm<b>LordDoodle</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 11:11pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 6:51pm<b>1Jesslo</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 3:51pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:10am<b>asdf1</b> - the 09/27/2009 at 8:13pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 12:34pm<b>DrunkenValor</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 11:03am<b>allmidnighteyes</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 9:39am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/21/2009 at 4:28pm<b>prplr</b> - the 09/07/2009 at 4:11pm<b>Aoife</b> - the 09/05/2009 at 3:23pm

FacePALM24's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

FacePALM24's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML

by effmylife / 10/23/2009 at 6:09am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML

by jacked / 10/02/2009 at 7:32pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

by JhKhS / 09/14/2009 at 6:05am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Money

Today, on a plane I was showing my brother the life jackets kept under the seat. After pulling on what I thought was the lifejacket, I then realized that they were kept in the arm rest to my right and for the last five minutes I had been pulling on the foot of the man who was sitting behind me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2009 at 12:28am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

by ZSL / 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

by malebonding / 08/17/2009 at 9:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML

by Ricky / 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

by Ouch / 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

by ohhmydamn / 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

by nosrepamai82 / 07/26/2009 at 12:28am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML

by xero_art / 06/26/2009 at 5:51am / United States (North Carolina) / Money