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FMLshark

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FMLshark
  • Town/Country : Pacific Ocean
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1379
  • Number of comments : 283
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FMLshark : Hi, I'm FMLshark. I am a rare species of shark that dwells in the seas of FML. My diet consists of spelling and grammar-challenged idiots, as well as a variety of people who feel the need to say things like "Doesn't matter, had sex", thinking it's funny.
WORST FML OF THE WEEK:
"Today, I posted a link up on reddit.... it didn't get up voted :( FML"

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FMLshark's favorite FMLs

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29689) - you deserved it (1161)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26823) - you deserved it (2701)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (2608)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10766) - you deserved it (39140)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I admitted to my parents that I have an eating disorder. Instead of trying to help, my mom stared at me and said, "Duh". FML

#19695634
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20255) - you deserved it (3721)

On 05/28/2012 at 9:38pm - misc - by Hungrey - United States

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17619) - you deserved it (1852)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8626) - you deserved it (16764)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

#19274332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15069) - you deserved it (5347)

On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (2554)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

#18897176
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25241) - you deserved it (2440)

On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26548) - you deserved it (20631)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after my son graduated from nursing school which I, as a single parent, paid for with blood, sweat, and tears, during his grad party he was asked what his next step was. His response was, "Eh, I kinda realized I hate nursing." FML

#18060058
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29180) - you deserved it (2411)

On 10/24/2011 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46712) - you deserved it (7667)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

­Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

#15726248
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23059) - you deserved it (3224)

On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)



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